I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
