Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
