i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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