I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
