but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
