whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think my tv is drunk
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
