We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
