I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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