the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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