I heard we made out
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
