is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
