Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
