I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
