There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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