drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
