3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
