loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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