I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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