He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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