I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
