Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
