it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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