There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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