I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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