i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he had hair everywhere except his balls
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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