hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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