is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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