You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
