STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
