im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i barfeds in our rink
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
