It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
