Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
