Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
