i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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