You can't special order awesome
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
