Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
