Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
