If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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