Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
