hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
