i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
