on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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