I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
