I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
