It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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