there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
