you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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