I can text with my tongue
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
