I'm really into asian looking animals
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
