i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
