Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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